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Crush

  • Author Hazuki
    • Love Robin, Editor

Ron: Rufus? Rufus? Here, boy!

Kim: Hey, Ron!

Ron: Ssh, Rufus has gone missing.

Kim: Maybe he's hibernating.

Ron: Not likely, Kim. It's Spirit Week. If the little guy missed it, he'd be crushed. Rufus! Ho-hey-hey! Ho-ho! Rufus!

Rufus: [Yawns]

Kim: A naked mole rat. Ron, ever think about getting a normal pet?

Ron: Like what?

Kim: Something not naked.

Rufus: [Blows raspberry]

Ron: Never be normal! That's the Ron Stoppable motto. Kim? KP? [Spanish accent] Kim Pos-see-blay?

Ron: Oh, Josh Mankey.

Rufus: [Retches] Mankey! 


[Title Sequence plays]

Ron: Amp down, Kim. Someone might think you're crushing on Mankey.

Rufus: Pah, Mankey!

Ron: Huh? Kim?

Josh: What's this say to you?

Kim: Oh, it's, it's, er, you know. I mean, yeah, totally…

Josh: Hey, you're Kim Possible. You were on the news last week, saved some ambassador or something?

Kim: Um, yeah, I, uh…

Josh: That was cool.

Kim: [giggling] Yeah. Heh, heh. Thanks. Heh, heh. Bye! Heh, heh.


[Bell rings]

Kim: I can't even form a sentence around Josh. How am I gonna ask him to Friday's dance?

Ron: Ask Mankey? I don't know, Kim, don't you think he might feel awkward… with us?

Kim: Us?

Ron: Well, we always go together.

Kim: Yeah, but that as, you know, friends. And this time, I was thinking about lining up a, you know…

Ron: An enemy?

Kim: A date!

Ron: A date, right. Date, like, uh… dating. Date in a date-like kind of way. Uh-huh, I can do that. The date thing.

Kim: Great. So, who are you going to ask?

Ron: For me to get a date? Who am I not gonna ask?

[Kimmunicator beeps]

Kim: Hey, Wade, what up?

Wade: Meet me at your locker.


Wade: You will not believe how many hits we're getting on this site. Everyone wants your help.

Ron: Mrs. Giltmore needs someone to feed her cats. For a week.

Kim: Eurgh! Seven days, eight cats.

Ron: One litter box. I know your website says you can do anything, but you have to draw the line. Hey, long distance. Tokyo! I love the French.

Wade: That one's an emergency. I'll stream the security cam.

Drakken: [on screen] Ha-ha!

Kim: Whoa, rewind and freeze, Wade.

Kim: Dr. Drakken.

Ron: Our arch enemy. Well, your arch enemy. I don't think he knows my name.

Kim: Come on, Ron, let's jet.

Ron: Oh, yeah! Going to Tokyo on a school night. How are we gonna get there?

Kim: I'll phone a friend.


Ron: Ooh-hoo-hoo, sweet ride.

Kim: Thanks for the lift, Britina.

Britina: Kim, duh, it's the least I could do after you saved my Chicago show.

Kim: Oh, the backstage fire was no big.

Britina: For you, maybe. Must be so awesome not to be afraid of anything.

Kim: Fearless, I am not.

Ron: Oh, come on! I've seen you wrestle a shark with your bare hands.

Britina: Yeah, what could scare you?

Kim: His name's Josh Mankey.

Britina: Ooh! Crush story.

Kim: I feel so ridiculous around him.

Britina: Just go for it. What's the worst thing that could happen?

Ron: So, Britina, as a pop superstar, I'll bet you miss out on stuff like school dances with, you know, normal, average guys?

Britina: True.

Ron: Friday. Dance. You. Me. Average guy.

Britina: No.

[Buzzer Sounds]

Ron: See? Was that so hard?

Kim: Only to watch.


Yoshiko: Thank you for coming, Kim Possible. I am Yoshiko, translator for Nakasumi-san.

Ron: You know, I'm looking for a lucky someone to go to a dance with me.

Yoshiko: Er, Nakasumi-san says he's very flattered, but given the current crisis, he feels it'd be inappropriate to go to the dance.

Ron: No! Ew, no! I mean…

Kim: So, what's the sitch?

Yoshiko: They have taken over our entire factory. The workers are trapped inside.

Kim: How many?

Yoshiko: Two.

Ron: Hundred?

Yoshiko: No, just two. This is the most automated factory in the world.

[Sirens wail]


Ron: Wait up! … Aaargh!

Kim: Ron, stop playing around!

Ron: Okay, I'm going … Ohh! Are you kidding me?!

Kim: Very funny.

Ron: The third time's the charm.

Kim: What's Drakken doing in a video game factory?

Ron: Duh! Do you know what this factory makes?

Kim: Video games?

Ron: The Z Boy. Only the fastest graphics system ever.

Kim: So? Video games.

Ron: It's not even coming out back home until Christmas. It's the must-have gift of the holiday season. [Gasps] Drakken's gonna steal Christmas.

Kim: Ron, I know my arch foe. Drakken wants to take over the world.

Ron: He wants to steal Christmas!

Kim: Take over the world!

Ron: Steal Christmas.

Kim: Take over the world.

Ron: Steal Christmas.

Kim: Take over the world.

Ron: Steal Christmas.

Kim: Ssh! Fine, whatever.

Ron: Kim, Drakken's in the house. Is this really the time to fix your make-up?

Kim: I see the hostages. [Gasps] Oh, no!

Ron: What?!

Kim: Thought I saw a zit. False alarm. Okay, I'll free the hostages, you take this. Jack it into the video.

Ron: You mean I'm…?

Kim: The distraction.

Ron: Oh, always the distraction.

Computer: Konnichiwa … Konnichiwa … Konnichiwa.

Drakken: Cartoons make my eyes itch. Can't you switch that thing off?! … Put some greasy elbow into it!

Shego: Dr. Drakken?

Drakken: Aaargh! Shego! Never sneak up on me like that.

Shego: I wasn't sneaking.

Drakken: Ninjas make more noise than you, Shego. Quit it!

Ron: Whassup! Naked Mole Rat TV is on the air!

Drakken: That voice.

Shego: It's Kim Possible's dopey sidekick.

Drakken: I can never remember his name.

Ron: It's Ron Stoppable coming to you totally live. Broadcasting from… wouldn't you like to know? Yes, evil doers, it's the Rufus and Ron Show.

Rufus: [Blows raspberry]

Ron: Aaargh!

Drakken: You're canceled. [Cackles]

Kim: Ron!

Shego: Kim Possible!

Drakken: I remember. So, Kim Possible, you think to thwart my plan?

Shego: Don't stop to tell her the plan.

Drakken: I'll handle this, Shego.

Shego: All I know is, every time you stop to blab about your big plan, she wins.

Drakken: Oh, right.

Shego: Let's go!

Drakken: [Cackles evilly]

Ron: Quick, where's our helicopter?

Kim: We don't have one.

Ron: Ooh, too bad.


Kim's Dad: I do not believe it. That Dr. Drakken fellow stole a factory. Seems two employees were rescued by world-famous teen hero… Hey, Kim Possible. Nice work, honey.

Kim: Sure, until I let Drakken get away. I've gotta figure out his plan before he tries to take over the world. Oh, then there's the Josh thing.

Kim's Dad: Josh? Another mad scientist bent on world conquest?

Kim: So not. Josh is this guy I wanna take to the dance.

Kim's Dad: Oh. Don't you and your friend Ronald usually go to school functions together?

Kim: Yeah, but Ron's a friend and Josh is a hottie.

Kim's Dad: [Clears throat] I wouldn't just give up without a fight. With Drakken, I mean. Better get back on that case tout de suite. And Kimmy, let's not talk about hotties at breakfast any more.

Kim's Mom: Who's a hottie?

Kim's Dad: We are not talking about it.

Kim: Josh Mankey. Ah!

Tweebs: Ooh. [Chanting] Kim's got a boyfriend! … Kim's got a boyfriend!

Kim: Don't make me hurt you.

Kim's Mom: Eat your cereal, boys. … So, this Josh is cute?

Kim: He's golden, mom.

Kim's Mom: Golden? That's good, right?

Kim's Dad: Well, I prefer it over hottie.

Kim: Josh is so cool and smart and really talented and kinda quiet.

Jim: [Burps]

Kim: Excuse you!

Jim: Wanna know what I think?

Kim: No.

Jim: Send an anonymous e-mail.

Kim: I couldn't do that.

Tim: Yes, you can. They, like, route it through Sweden or some place and it can't be traced.

Kim's Dad: Hmm. Your principal's been getting anonymous e-mails from Sweden.

Tweebs: Er…, gotta go!

Kim's Mom: Kimmy, telling a boy you like him is like getting into a really cold pool. Deep breath, then take the plunge.


[Bell rings]

Kim: Before this day is over, I am going to ask Josh to the dance.

Ron: And I'm gonna ask… somebody.

Kim: Your standards are so high.

Ron: Flexibility is key, Kim.

Kim: Good luck.

Ron: Don't need it.

Kim's Mom: [in Kim's head] Deep breath, then take the plunge.

[Bell rings]

Kim: [Sighs]


Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Stop… Ow!



Kim: Josh'll come through that door any minute and I'll just spit it out.

Ron: This arm is going to the dance on Friday. Who wants to be on it? … How about this arm?


Kim: Deep breath, then take the plunge. Here goes.

Bonnie: Hi, Kim.

Kim: Bonnie.

Bonnie: Don't mind if I watch, do you?

Kim: Watch what?

Bonnie: You. Josh. It's so obvious that you're crushing on him.

Kim: It is not.

Bonnie: Oh, yeah? Gonna ask him to the dance?

Kim: Why?

Bonnie: I think it's great.

Kim: Really?

Bonnie: Totally. I get to see you crash and burn.

Kim: Maybe he'll say yes.

Bonnie: Maybe, but he said no to girls much higher on the food chain than you.

Kim: Well, I'm gonna ask him anyway.

Bonnie: Go for it.

Kim: I will. After practice.


% Techno music.

Ron: Attention, girls! It is I, Ron Stoppable. Contrary to

popular belief, am not dating Kim Possible, which is good news

for you, Josh Mankey.

Josh: Hey.

Kim: Oh, no.

Ron: There is a rare hole in my social calendar for this Friday.

Please note. I am a bon-diggidy dancer. Thank you.



% All giggle.



Kim: OK, everybody, doghouse pyramid.



% Communicator beeps.

Ron: Kim, it's for you!

Kim: Ohh! Ohh! Whoaaaaa!

Girls: Kim!



Wade: Hot tip from the Nakasumi heist. Can you cut practice?

Kim: I'd rather be anywhere but here.



Rufus: ( Whimpers )

Ron: I told you to bring a jacket, Rufus. Naked and snow just

don't mix.



Kim: OK, let's recap what we know.

Ron: Check. Subject... Joshua Wendell Mankey.

Kim: I meant about Drakken's alpine lair.

Ron: Oh, yeah, I got enough.

Kim: Wait, his middle name is Wendell?



Ron: It could be.

Kim: You've obviously done your research.

Ron: I will show you the rest of report is completely factual.

Kim: Gossip you've heard around school?

Ron: Moving on. Mankey has rejected invitations to the Spirit

Week dance from the following: Courtney Luke, Maria

Rodriguez, Natasha Putin, Julia Roberts, no relation, and of

course, Bonnie Rockwaller. No current photo was available.



Kim: Josh spiked Bonnie?

Ron: And Bonnie spiked me, as did Courtney, Maria, Natasha and

Julia.



Heinrich: OK, kids, we're here.

Kim: Thanks for the lift, Heinrich.



Heinrich: Oh, Kim, you silly. It's the least I could do after you

saved our village from that avalanche last year.

Kim: No big.

Ron: So, Heinrich, got any teenage daughters who might wanna

go to an American dance party?

Heinrich: Nein!

Ron: Nine? One's plenty. Or maybe two.



Heinrich: Nein means no!

Ron: Hey, wait a minute! I helped with that avalanche!

Kim: You started it. Come on.

Ron: Right behind ya! Argh!

Rufus: ( Chuckles )



Ron: Not a word.



Kim: Talk to me, Wade.

Wade: This is unquestionably Drakken's latest lair. I've hacked

into the security system, but it's tight. Oh, can't shut down

the sensor beams. But I could use the frequency so you can

see 'em.

Kim: Please and thank you.



Ron: Hey, this isn't so hard.



Ron: Whoaaaaa!



Kim: So, Ron, we can't touch the red beams. Ron?



Ron: Hey, hey!



Ron: Whoaaaa!

Ron: Hey, hey!



Ron: Whoaaa!



% Ron and Kim sigh.



Rufus: Ooh! Uh-oh!

% Alarm sounds.

Ron: Aaaargh!



Kim: I have never been captured that fast. This was almost as

embarrassing as cheerleading practice, Ron.

Ron: Embarrassing? Perhaps, but it did get us inside the bad

man's lair.

Shego: Don't mind me, I just wanna watch.



Ron: Um, can one of you guys give us a boost?

Ron+Rufus: Kim!



Ron: Back off. Back off, goons, cos I'm packing!

Henchman: Lip gloss?

Ron: Er, yes, lip gloss.

% All laugh.

Kim: Ron, open it and hold your breath!



Ron: ( Exhales ) What is this stuff?



Wade's Mom: Wade, I wish you'd stop taking your father's dirty

socks.

Wade: Mom, I need those!

Wade's Mom: For what?

Wade: They're integral to my top-secret stink formula!



Kim: ( Gasps )

Shego: Ooh, sorry, no prize for second place.



Kim: Run! Lip gloss me!

Shego: Eurgh, that stinks!



Ron: Boo-yah!

Kim: Nice work, boys. Now, where's...?

Drakken: Ah, my teenaged foe and the buffoon.

Ron: Well, this buffoon knows your secret plan. You wanna

steal Christmas!

Drakken: Not even close.



Kim: So, this is a take-over-the-world thing, Ron!

Drakken: Watch, as this state-of-the-art assembly line becomes the

ultimate robo-warrior!

Robot: Konnichiwa.



Ron: That'd be so cool if it wasn't gonna hurt us.



Ron: Don't freak out, Kim!



Kim: I'm not.

Ron: Well, that makes one of us.

Kim: Wade, we're up against a giant robot warrior.

Wade: Which used to be a robot assembly line. According to this

schematics, Nakasumi san installed an override module.



Rufus: Huh?



Robot: Konnichiwa.



Drakken: ( Cackles evilly )



Robot: Konnichiwa.



Drakken: Why did she have to be a cheerleader? If she was on the

debate team, I'd have vaporised her by now!



Robot: Konnichiwa.



Drakken: She's gone. It's impossible!

Ron: Actually, it's possible. Kim Possible. But that's a

common mistake.



Robot: Konnichiwa.



Ron: Hey, hey, I'm only the distraction!



Kim: Where is that override thingy?



Ron: Get off my back!



Kim: Yes!

Kim: Good luck, Wade.



Wade: I'm in!

Computer: Password required.

Wade: Huh? Oh, great. Er, Nakasumi?



Computer: Access denied.



Ron: Flying kick now!

Robot: Konnichiwa.

Ron: And now I'm upside down.

Drakken: Ooh, the buffoon!



Ron: Rufus!



Rufus: Oh!

Drakken: What?!



Drakken: You should've stuck to baby-sitting! What made you think

an ordinary teenager could possibly defeat me?



Wade: Er, Z-Boy?



Computer: Access denied.

Wade: I do not have time for this.

Robot: Konnichiwa.

Wade: ( Gasps ) Konnichiwa!



Wade: Score!

Kim: Wade.

Drakken+Ron: What?

Drakken: No!

Ron: Busted.



Drakken: Indeed.



Drakken+Ron: Aaaaargh!



Ron: Eurgh!

Drakken: Aaargh!



Ron: Oh! Aaargh!



Shego: Bye-bye, Kimmy! Ha!



Drakken: Aaargh!



Ron: Faster, faster!



Drakken: You think you're all that, but you're not!



Ron: Kim, Drakken's in jail, Christmas was saved. What's the big?

Kim: OK, first of all, he was not trying to steal Christmas.

And I gotta tell you, Drakken was easy compared to this.



Ron: Reality check, Kim. If you can defeat an international

superfreak, you can handle Josh Mankey.

Wade: Kim, he just left third period and he's headed your way.

Kim: What?

Wade: Subject, Mankey. I triangulated his position on the GPS

satellite. He's passing the gym.

Kim: ( Gasps )



Ron: OK, I think you've crossed a line here.

Kim: I can't do it.

Wade: Target is on the move. Closing in. Four, three, two...

He's on top of you!

Kim: Maybe I just give up.

Ron: I repeat, you can handle this!



Kim: ( Gasps )

Josh: Hey.

Kim: Hey. Um, oh, um, I'm sorry about the banner, you know, the

one I tore down?

Josh: It was weak anyway.



Kim: Oh, great! I mean, too bad. New one's better?

Josh: Much. Don't tear it down.

Kim: Definitely not. Er, guess I'll see it at the dance, huh?

Maybe I'll see you there.

Josh: At the dance?

Kim: Sure. Maybe you'll be there? Maybe with me?



Josh: Are you, what, asking me to the dance?

Kim: I know, I sound so random, but yes, yes, I am.

Josh: Cool.

Kim: Very.

Josh: So, I'll come by around seven.



Ron: I need a ride, too!

Ron: You could swing by around 7:15! Actually, you know, my

mom's gonna be hanging my pants, so maybe, like, 7:30?



% Pop music.

% Communicator beeps.



Ron: Help! Somebody let me out! Come on, I'm a bon-diggidy dancer!

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