Ill Suited
[Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable are dancing at the junior prom to Could It Be. They kiss and smile at each other. Kim's smile and the music turn very creepy and she melts.]
Ron: KP you're a syntho-drone? *screams* (Wakes up in his bed)
Rufus: *Screams*
Ron: *Screams*
Rufus: *Screams*
Ron: *Screams*
[Rufus covers Ron's mouth and points to the clock on the nightstand that reads 3:10 in the morning.]
Ron: I don't care what time it is, this is an emergency! (dials a number on his phone) Kim? Pick-up! Pick-up! Pick-up!
Kim: (Yawns and sleepily answers the telephone) Ron?
Ron: Are you a syntho-drone KP? Be honest I can take it!
Kim: (exasperated) Ron, you had a nightmare. (Yawns) Goonight.
Ron: Wait! Before that part where you melted we were at the dance and...
Kim: We kissed.
Ron: (happily) Yeah! Did you have the same dream?
Kim: No that part really happened Ron.
Ron: (laughs) Yeah.
Kim: (irritated) But it won't happen again if you keep calling me in the middle of the night! (hangs up the phone)
Ron: (hears the dial tone and hangs up his phone) Man love is complicated.
[Kim Possible Theme Song Plays]
[Sonic blast from a machine breaks through the roof of a building.]
Professor Dementor: Ha, your top secret underground science facility can't hide from Professor Dementor!
Kim: And no smug villain can hide from...
Professor Dementor: Kim Possible!
Ron: And boyfriend!
Professor Dementor: Ha I seriously doubt that.
Ron: No dude it's true, really.
Professor Dementor: (thinks about it) Sorry just can't believe it. I am impressed Fraulein Possible. How did you know I would be here?
Kim: Uhh, your to-do list helped.
Professor Dementor: (groans) I dropped that when I stole the ultrasonic drill, Yes?
Kim: Yeah, uh huh, ya did. And thanks for making our job that much easier.
Ron: (Reads off the list)
- Steal Ultrasonic Drill
- Break Into Top secret Lab
- Call Mother
- Conquer World
Professor Dementor: Ahhh I knew I was forgetting something. Mama gets so cross when I don't jingle.
Kim: You can call her from prison.
Professor Dementor: Or we can add one more item to my list. Eliminate Kim Possible!
[Shoots the ultrasonic ray at Kim and Kim puts up a defensive barrier]
Ron: Nicely bubbled KP!
[Kim uses her suit to jump up to where Professor Dementor is]
Kim: Just getting started.
Professor Dementor: Whoa, whoa, hey, hold on, time out. You have a battle suit. When did you get this suit, with the powers?
Ron: It's relatively new.
Kim: And indestructible. So if you wanna just give up now.
Professor Dementor: Oh it's most impressive but we will take the springing out of your stepping shoes.
[Professor Dementor pushed a button and henchmen jump out and surround Kim Possible. On the lower lever Rufus yells out and points to the ultrasonic drill pointing at ron]
Ron: Ah right running! (runs around as the laser tries to hit him.)
[Kim fights the henchmen and one put a tear in the arm of her suit and the suit immediately repairs itself.]
Professor Dementor: Oh look at that for peters sake. Maybe someone might take a minute to fill me in next time, on a little detail like my school girl enemy becoming suddenly, UBER!
[Ron is running back and forth dodging the sonic blasts while kim finished off the the henchmen.]
Professor Dementor: This is no fair. You have never had the springy jump, self healing super suit before.
Kim: I'm full of surprises.
Professor Dementor: Yes well you are not the only one Fraulein.
[Professor Dementor pull out a gun and shoots it but kim catches the blast and throws it back at him knocking the gun from his hand.]
Professor Dementor: (yells) Now with the hand, You get a hand thing too!
[Ron still running from the sonic blasts]
Ron: Say Kim, little help. Help!
Professor Dementor: You help your so called boyfriend while I help myself to escape.
[Professor Dementor blast off in a escape bod while kim shuts down the sonic blasts. Ron collapses to his knees.]
Kim: You ok, so called boyfriend?
Ron: Uh huh [holds up thumbs]
[Back at school]
Monique: Can you believe it the day is here? We're actually seniors!
Ron: We're older, we're wiser. (excitedly) We rule the school!
Kim: (sadly) Yeah I guess so.
Monique: What's your problem girl? Where's your senior spirit?
Kim: No big, it's just had we've had our first run in of senior year and the bad guy got away.
Monique: No one bats 1,000, Kim.
Ron: Besides you still kicked major battle suit butt.
Rufus: *makes fighting noises*
Ron: And your main mans mad running away skills, top shelf!
[Bonnie appears.]
Bonnie: So are you two like, still together?
Kim: (angrily) Yes, Bonnie.
Bonnie: I mean I know things got noxious at the junior prom, but you've had all summer to come to your senses.
Kim: So have you.
Bonnie: But you're a cheerleader! A senior cheerleader, do you know what that means?
Ron: New uniforms?
Bonnie: Well yes and they're so cute, but it also means you must date a jock. It's... It's non optional, it's like a rule.
Kim: Ron's the exception to the rule.
Ron: humph
Bonnie: He's the reason for the rule. If he can't step up, trade up.
Kim: Not everyone has to date the quarterback B.
Bonnie: Not everyone can K.
[Bonnie walks away flipping her hair]
Monique: Aww that girls sweet as ever.
Rufus: *gags and blows raspberries*
Kim: Gotta run (kisses Rons cheek) promise me you won't obsess on Bonnie's little, whatever. Okay?
Ron: What little whatever?
Kim: The whole must date a jock rule.
Ron: Oh yeah, yeah whatever.
(Later that day in school) Some girls do like to date jocks. Big deal? Who cares?
(Later that day in arcade) It's not like Kim would ever dump me to trade up. Would she?
(Later that day in the theater) I mean just because she's a cheerleader who likes to cheer for jocks. Go jocks.
[Random person shushes him in the theater]
Ron: (Later that day on his bike) Wait I'm a cheerleader! I'm the mad-dog, that must count for something!
Truck driver behind Ron: *blows horn* Hey clown boy get outta the road!
Ron: Don't count for nothing does it?
Rufus: Nuh uh.
Ron: (Next day at school) Okay chill, Kim is not Bonnie. Me and KP live in a free trade up free zone.
[Ron behind the lockers sees Kim and Monique]
Monique: Whoa Kim are you serious, trading up?
Kim: I hate to admit it but, in this one case. Oh, I actually agree with Bonnie.
Monique: I never thought I'd hear those words from you Kim. It's a little scary.
Kim: I know Monique, but a girl has to have standards especially now that we're seniors.
[Ron freaks out and runs away]
Kim: It's time you've traded up.
Monique: But my little cellie has been with me since freshman year.
Kim: You have to admit, Bonnie's new cell phone is ultimate.
[Ron stops running down the hall]
Ron: You heard it Rufus. Now that we're seniors I'm not good enough for Kim. If only she wasn't a cheerleader. Or...
[Looks at tryout poser for mad-dog football]
Rufus: Uh oh
Ron: Time for Ron Stoppable to step up and become Ron Step-up-able!
Mr. Barkin: As you all know after seven years Brick Flagg graduated last June leaving the mad-dogs without a quarterback. *Gets in Ron's face* You realize these trials aren't for towel boy that position is already filled.
[Shows Rufus standing next to the towels]
Ron: Actually Mr. Barkin you are looking at the new Middleton quarterback.
[Everyone behind Ron laughs]
Mr. Barkin: You think you're quarterback material with your name.
Ron: Ron?
Mr. Barkin: Stoppable! Send the wrong message to the opposition.
Ron: Look I can do this Mr. B. I have hustle! Buckets of hustle!
Mr. Barkin: Playing the hustle card huh. Alright. (screams) Let's see how you dance!!!
[Someone throws a ball and Ron tries to catch it and falls off screen.]
Ron: Ok whoa. *car alarm* Oh why would you park there. Ack oh. *runs back with the ball* book the hall we have a reception.
Mr. Barkin: *Barkin snatches the ball* Ok, let's see you pass.
[Ron take the ball back and tries to throw the ball, but as soon as he stretches his hand back the ball goes into Barkin's mouth.]
Ron: Oh man.
Mr. Barkin: *spits the ball out* Take a lap. *Graps Ron's helmet as he tried to run* I didn't say run the lap.
[Ron crab walks over to kim and monique]
Ron: Sup ladies.
Kim: And you are doing what?
Ron: I'm Just relishing the exquisite torment that is the crab walk.
Monique: Fun.
Ron: Ah it's a jock thing you wouldn't understand.
Kim: Jock thing? *laughs* You?
Ron: Are you kidding? Ron Stoppable has always been about the sportage!
Kim: Okay, even if that was true, Football?
Ron: Ahhh who doesn't like to toss around the old pig puck.
Kim: You mean pig skin.
Ron: Whoa KP one sport at a time.
Kim: Ron this wouldn't have anything to do with that trash Bonnie was talking.
Ron: What? Uh no. I'm just fleshing out the resume for college.
Kim: Well I guess football reads better than flooding the school cafeteria.
Monique: Huh? Oh right the chess club incident.
Ron: The first rule of chess club is, you do not talk about chess club.
[Kim's communicator goes off]
Wade: What up seniors?
Kim: Hey Wade. New sitch?
Wade: Yeah, but no telling what, just some mysterious hit on your site.
Kim: Mysterious, how?
Wade: All we got were GPS coordinates.
[Ron and Kim talking to whats obviously Professor Dementor in a dress]
Professor Dementor: It's my princess.
Ron: Princess eh, um let me guess kidnapped foreign royalty?
Professor Dementor:Oh umm... dear no. She just won't come down out of the tree.
Ron: KP allow me to step up and handle this one.
[Ron climbs the tree to get the cat]
Ron: Nice Kitty, you're such a nice. Owww oooo, oh man! Now with the cutting! Owww! *climbs back down* Hey, you know as long as your suited up.
[Kim nods and jumps into the tree using her suit.]
Kim: Come on Princess. *the cat jumps into her arms and it's eyes glow red before going back to green* awww nice kitty. *she jumps down from the tree* No big here you go.
Professor Dementor: Oh no, you must let me give you a proper thank you.
(Inside the house)
Professor Dementor: I'll be right back with the cookies.
Ron: And maybe some bandages. If ya got em. Antiseptic you know maybe. *cat growls at ron* Nice lady.
Kim: Yeah.
Ron: Ahhhh, a little off.
Kim: Kinda creepy.
Ron: Cookies to go?
Kim: So to go.
[Ron walks up to a shelf of glass plates and dolls]
Ron: Uh, quite a collection of... you know these things.
[As he walks away they all turn and look at him.]
Kim: *Cat jumps out of her arms* Oh a hey!
[Cats eyes turn red.]
Kim: *gasps*
Ron: I knew that cat was evil!
[Cat sends a blast of energy from it's mouth at Kim. She dodges.]
Kim: We've been played.
[A computer a voice that is away from Kim and Ron says analyzing battle suit. Back in the room with Ron and Kim the dolls looks towards Ron.]
Ron: Ahhhhh, bad granny, bad granny!
[Ron runs toward the door and tries to open it, but it's locked. All the windows and doors seals and you can hear Professor Dementor laughter.]
Kim: I recognize that laugh.
Professor Dementor: Oh dear me it is appearing that we, (yells) are all out of the cookies!! *he throws the cookie plate at Rons' head and Ron ducks.*
Ron: Kim this granny is demented!
Kim: Ron, you mean dementor.
Professor Dementor: Peeking zee boo! *laughs*
Kim: Cute little trap Professor.
Professor Dementor: Why thank you. Yes I rather like it. It's the details that really sell it don't you think? (screams) I picked out the curtains myself!
Ron: Dude you're totally wearing a dress.
Professor Dementor: It's a housecoat!
Ron: Yeah, uh huh. (screams) DRESS!
Professor Dementor: Enough with the chat! Collectibles attack!
[The collectibles throws plates at ron who runs screaming.]
Ron: *Screams*
[Kim tries to throw a plate back at them, but the couch grabs both her arms and drags her to the floor. The couch then opens up and has teeth. The collectibles fill a glass dog with peppermints before using the dog to shoot them at Ron.]
Ron: *screams* Hard Candy.
[The couch swallows kim.]
Ron: (worried) Kim?
Rufus: *gasps*
Professor Dementor: *laughs*
[Kim using her barrier bubble bursts out of the couch and the couch smashes into the shelf crushing the collectibles.]
Professor Dementor: Danka, Kitty, *removes a disk from the cats mouth after pushing it's nose* Uh-oh it is looking like I am in zee hot water yes. (screams) No! *throws the cat at kim* There is no hot water for me. *gets into an escape pod that's a dresser* Not this time Fraulein Possible. Not ever!
Kim: (exasperated) Oh I have been foiled by a man in a dress.
Professor Dementor: (screams as he flies through the roof) It's a housecoat!
[A beeping sound can be heard and Kim pushed back the fur on the cat she caught and a digital clock is counting down and on :04 seconds]
Ron: See this is why I'm not a cat person.
Kim: *Groans* Come on!
[Kim drops the cat and flies her and Ron out the house before the cat vaporizes the house. Kim pulls out her communicator.]
Kim: It was a trap Wade.
Wade: Professor Dementor.
Ron: In a dress!
Wade: Sounds ugly, but you had the battle suit?
Kim: And he had the home field advantage.
Ron: *In his mind* Home field. (repeated in kim's voice)
[Ron sees himself + Kim's battle suit = a star quarterback]
(School bell rings the next day and Ron still has a big goofy grin on his face.)
Monique: Ummm, How much longer is he going to be that way?
Kim: I'm not sure... but it's kinda weirding me out. *waves her hand in front of Ron's face and snaps*
Ron: Oh hey guys.
Kim: Zoning out why?
Ron: Umm, nothing, say we better get rolling so you can get to babysitting tonight, cause tonight you'll be out babysitting and you won't be home because you'll be out babysitting away from home, right?
Kim: You're still not right are you?
Ron: Who me? Oh yeah, I'm feeling just super.
[At Kim's house Ron goes through her clothes and finds her battle suit]
Ron: Hum, It's not stealing it's secret borrowing.
[At Middletons football field. Ron walks out and you can see Kim's battle suit under his clothes. Rufus walks out with Ron carrying a pile of towels.]
Mr. Barkin: *blows a whistle and sees Ron* Uh-oh (Yells) Stoppable are you still wasting my time. There's no way your going to make the quarterback cut.
Ron: Just one more chance Mr. B!
Mr. Barkin: Ahhh what's it's gonna hurt asides from his skin and bone. Fine, I'll just have the nurse warm up the crash cart.
Ron: Alright now check it.
[Ron throws the ball and it crashed into Barkin]
Ron: Ooooooo, you okay there coach?
Mr. Barkin: *Sits up with the ball in his mouth and pulls the ball out of his mouth* (Happily) Okay I'm stoked, that pass was impossible.
Ron: Hee, yeah something like that.
Mr. Barkin: (happily yells) You're the field general, the signal caller, the man! Middleton we have a quarterback!
(That night at the football game)
Announcer: It's a beautiful night for some football here in middleton. There's the snap. The new Mad-dog quarterback has all kinds of time. He moving in the pocket... and... that's a 30 yard completion.
[Crowd cheers]
Kim: (shocked by Ron) Whoa, um uh Go Mad-dogs!
Announcer: First in 10 in lowerton territory.
[Players all tackle Ron]
Announcer: Whoa, call the crash cart.
[Ron pushed them all off and the crowd cheers and Monique looks shocked.]
Announcer: Goodnight nurse he's okay. Ladies and gentleman stoppable's unstoppable.
Cheerleaders: Go unstoppable!
Announcer: Here we go folks this could be the play of the game. The lowerton defense dogs pile on the rookie, but no, the kid is on the move. Touchdown catch. Middleton has a new hero!
Ron: *laughs*
Kim: He did it!
Monique: I know, unbelievable!
Bonnie: Yeah a little too unbelievable if you ask me.
Kim: (smug) So Ron stepped up, jealous much? (thinks about it) It is kind of weird though isn't it?
Monique: Maybe all that running from bad guys has finally paid off.
(At Bueno Nacho)
Ron: What did you think KP?
Kim: I'm so proud of you Ron! I never knew you had this in you... Never.
Ron: *laughs nervously* Like you I'm full of surprises. Hee hee yeah. *drunks soda nervously*
[The whole place begins to shake.]
Rufus: Huh...eekk
Ron: Earthquake!
Kim: Unlikely.
[Lasers appears and make the roof disappear.]
Professor Dementor: Oh yoohoo, is is a bad time for zee knocking?
[People run around screaming.]
Professor Dementor: Eyes here I am making an entrance! *lowers himself on a platform *
Kim: You know some of us are trying to have a social life.
Professor Dementor: Soon the only life you will be having is the life of bowing down to me Professor Dementor conquer of everybody.
Kim: Yeah that's going to happen like, never.
Professor Dementor: Oh and you intend to stop me once again by using your fancy battle suit.
Kim: Well uh actually.
Professor Dementor: Too bad! You see during our last encounter I secretly analyzed it's abilities and cleverly devised this magnetic controller. *turns on the the machine* Your fancy pants will become your very undoing. Why even now you feel your arms and legs locking up, fusing you into immobile helplessness as I, Professor Dementor, take full control!
Ron: *groans as his body freezes up*
Professor Dementor: All your battle suit now belongs to me!
Kim: Sorry to harsh you scheme professor but, I'm not wearing it.
Professor Dementor: Do I look like I am fooled by your mouth full of lies! No is the correct answer!
Kim: Hello, does it look like I'm wearing full body armor? *point to her cheer-leading outfit*
Professor Dementor: Well no now that you mention it, and yet my instruments very clearly say the suit is here...with that, what is up?
Ron: *groans nervously* Oil can.
Kim: The football game. *gasps*
Professor Dementor: Remotely activating shield mode.
[Ron's regular clothes bust to reveal the suit.]
Ron: Ahhh so hate that.
Professor Dementor: So who's wearing the girly clothes now.
Kim: Ron, you... you stole my battle suit.
Ron: Secret borrowing.
Kim: *gasps* you were in my closet.
Ron: Look, let me explain. Okay first off this suit pinches, not that it doesn't look good on you.
Professor Dementor: Ahem, Not that you teen relationship issues aren't, fascinating, but I'd really like to jump right into crushing Kim Possible with her own super suit.
Ron: Hey, hey. Bad suit Kim, look out!
Kim: You cheated your way unto the football team.
[Kim and Ron start fighting]
Ron: Yeah, but that was just a perk. I was really trying to cheat on you...for you, eh to win you! Wait, wait it's not what you think!
Kim: Oh so you're not a cheater, a liar, and a thief!
Ron: Okay it is what you think. But, but kim I had to do it. I couldn't risk losing you.
Kim: What are you talking about you weren't going to lose me.
Ron: Kim I heard you talking to Monique you agreed with Bonnie about dating jocks. You said trading up was the only option.
Kim: What? Oh Ron I was talking about Monique's cell phone.
Ron: Ohhh yeah, she got that new one like Bonnie's that's a nice phone.
Kim: Uh-huh.
Ron: Oh wait. So you weren't gonna...
Kim: Trade up my BF? Ron I don't care about dating a jock. I care about dating you, Ron Stoppable no matter who he is. As long as he's honest.
Ron: I'm sorry Kim. I never meant to hurt you.
Professor Dementor: Not Yet.
Ron: No! No! It's not me it's your battle suit! Oh KP our first fight.
[Ron throws Kim into the drink machine and ice spills all over her.]
Ron: Kim!
[Dementor uses the controller to push ron out of the battle suit and ron is only in his underwear]
Professor Dementor: Did you say your battle suit?
Ron: Oh man, even as a senior.
Professor Dementor: No no, *put on the suit* My battle suit! *laughs* Not as comfy as the house-dress but I'll learn to live.
Rufus: *squeaks to Ron and points at Dementors Magnetic controller* Hut hut, *Ron throws him* weeeeeee.
Professor Dementor: The final crushing blow delivered by my own super enhanced bad self. *about to crushed the knocked out Kim*
(Rufus takes control of Dementor making him attack himself as Ron helps Kim up.)
Professor Dementor: What?
Ron: Hey, stop hitting yourself!
Professor Dementor: I cannot! No I oph! This isn't fair! My battle suit!
(At another football game)
Announcer: Time's running out, Stoppable is off his game tonight.
Ron: Ehhh, okay this is the big moment, I don't need a suit. I can do this. I can... I... I'm outta here!
Announcer: Where is he going?
Mr. Barkin: What is he doing?
Bonnie: Gee Kim is that your boyfriend out there running like a sick chicken?
Kim: Yeah that's my guy.
Announcer: Wait he's turning around, unstoppable stoppable is, wow. He's breaking the all Middleton rushing record. Where did he learn to run like that? Mad Dogs Win! Mad Dogs Win!
Ron: Booyah!
[Crowd cheers]
(Next Day at school)
Kim: You do me proud Ron Stoppable by just being you.
Ron: Yeah, uh who knew my mad running away skills would have real world applications.
Mr. Barkin: Too bad you had to go and cheat your way onto the team. Cheater.
Ron: Does this mean I don't get to be the quarterback anymore?
Mr. Barkin: It's called disciplinary action. Something we coaches do.
Ron: Awww man.
Mr. Barkin: That's right I want you to think about what you've done when your playing as the new Middleton running back!
Ron: You mean I still get to be on the team?
Mr. Barkin: *laughs* Talk to me after 20 laps.
Ron: Thanks Mr. B! *pulled back as he walks away* Huuuuuu
Mr. Barkin: Save your running for game time.
Ron: *sighs as he gets down and crab walks away.*
[Rufus smiles as he shines Ron's record breaking plaque]
(That night at 3:10 in the morning)
Kim: *groans as her phone rings* Hello?
Ron: Okay Kim I know it's late but,
Kim: How many times do I have to tell you we kissed. We're dating.
Ron: So you leaving me for Rufus was..?
Kim: Dream.
Rufus: *Makes frustrated sounds at being woken up*
Ron: Me being Middleton's new running back. Dream?
Kim: No, That actually happened.
Ron: Oh, I'm on a team that's cool. Okay how about you water skiing over a shark. *dial tone is heard* Hello? Hello? Kim?