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[Kim and Ron run down an alley in their mission outfits, seemingly followed by a “mob” of muscular men]

Mob #1: Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! ...

Ron: They're getting closer, KP!

Mob #1: Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! ...

Kim: [Pointing into a side allay] This way! [Pulls Ron behind her]

Rufus: [Looks out of the pocket, first behind them, then ahead] Ough! Woo-hoo! Look out!

[Ron runs into trash cans, but does not fall]

Kim: [Hiding behind a parked car] Ron, over here! ... I think we lost 'em. [sighs]

[They look through the car windows]

Kim: Hough

[Inside the car, a dog jumps at the window and fiercely barks at them]

Ron: [shocked] Teeth and slobber!

[They run on until a car stops in front of them, headlamps directed at them, and another mob gets out, shouting what seems to be another battle cry]

Mob #2: Steal! Steal! Steal! Steal! ...

Kim: [Grabs Ron's hand]] Come on!

Ron: [Tries to open a door] Argh! Argh!

Mob #2: Steal! Steal! Steal! Steal! ...

Ron: We'll never make it.

Kim: There's gotta be another way in.

Mob #2: Steal! Steal! Steal! ...

Mob #1: [caught up] Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! Pain! ...

Mob #2: Steal! Steal! Steal! ...

[While the mobs continue, Kim shoots her grappling hook to the roof]

Kim: Going up?

[Ron holds fast and they go up]

Ron: Come on, Kim. We've gotta get inside. [Stumbles and falls off the roof] Whohu, Waaah!

[Kim jumps after him, secured by here grappling hook rope]

Ron: Waaaah!

[Kim bounces off the ground, catches Ron mid-flight]

Mobs Pain! Pain! / Steal! Steal!

[Kim and Ron fly through outlet into a vent pipe system]

Kim: Argh! Ooh!

[They fall out of the vent system through a flap]

Both: Aaagh!! Uh!

Kim: Uh!

[They've landed in the mall. In the background, banners announce a wrestling match - GWA wrestling wriot - starring Steel Toe and Pain King]

Kim: Next time we come to the mall, let's stick to the main entrance. Okay?

Title credits

[Still in the mall]

Kim: You know? I usually like to go home and change after a mission...

Ron: No time for that, KP.

Kim: Okay... Why?

Ron: The first hundred fans not to be trampled get a free GWA tour t-shirt.

Kim: GWA?

Ron: How can you not know the Global Wrestling Association? It's only the most excellent sporting organization in the world. Steel Toe rules! Yeah!

Mob #1 [Now recognizable as happy fans] Pain! Pain! Pain! ...

Kim: All this just because some wrestlers are making a mall appearance?

Ron: Not just some. Pain King and Steel Toe! Pain King's got a bionic eye - don't even think about looking into it, or you'll writhe on the floor in total pain.

Kim: And I suppose Steel Toe actually has steel toes?

Ron: Na, that's just a publicity gimmick. They're more like titanium, actually. A freak industrial accident.

Rufus: Yeah!

Kim: Riiiight...

Jackie Oaks: [Announcing from a podium on a stage] Listen up, Middleton!

Kim: Huh!

Jackie Oaks: Hahahaha! Are you ready for action?

[Crowd cheers]

Jackie Oaks: Are you ready for head-bomping, chest-stomping, neck-breaking, ground-shaking confrontatiooon?

[Crowd cheers]

Ron: Yeah, baby.

Kim: Is that Pain guy?

Ron: Ha, no. That's Jackie Oaks, founder of the GWA.

Jackie Oaks: Now here's a little secret: These two world-class athletes that I'm about to bring out...

Crowd: Wooooh!

Jackie Oaks: ... hate each other' guts! Hahaha, haha.

[Crowd cheers and applaudes]

Jackie Oaks: Heeeeere's Pain King...

Part of crowd: Pain! Pain! Pain!...

Jackie Oaks: ... and Steel Toooooeee!

Part of crowd: Steel! Steel! Steel!...

Crowd Steel! Steel!... / Pain! Pain!...

Steel Toe: Ugh!

Pain King: Arrr!

Steel Toe: Ugh!

Ron: Slap it, Steel!

Kim: Okay. I'm in a mall and I'm not shopping. What's wrong with this picture?

Ron: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wrestling is more than two guys beating on each other. It's also a war of words.

Pain King: You're going down!

Steel Toe: No! You're going down!

Pain King: No, you're going down!

Steel Toe: No! You're going down!

Kim: Yeah, they're poets. Look, Club Banana's doing a tie-in with the museum's Cleopatra's Closet exhibit. That's where I'll be.


[Inside Club Banana]

Kim: [hugging a table-full of cargo pants] Hello, civilization!

Monique: Oh, my gosh, how much do you love Cleo's cargoes?

Kim: Way much.

Kim and Monique: You'd look good in ... these in green

Monique: Ji...

Kim: Jinx, you owe me a soda!


[Back outside]

King Pain: It makes me sick to look at you, lead foot.

Steel Toe: You will be so much sicker when I stomp you with cold, hard steel!

King Pain: Let's go. Right here, right now.

[Crowd cheers]

Jackie Oaks: Not now, boys. Save it for Mayhem in Middleton. He-ha-ha-ha. Good seats still available, folks. Hah, hah, heheheh.

Max Pain: You're going down! [attacks Steel toe]

Jackie Oaks: Oh, oh, stop there. break it up, there. Oh, ouh.

[A brawl starts in the crowd, soon some guy whirls Ron around]

Ron: Aaaah! Aah! Aah!


[Inside Club Banana's, at the checkout]

Monique: Do you belong to our Club Banana Club?

Kim: Charter member.

Monique: [reads Kim's member card] Kim Possible? I thought it was you! The stuff you do is so amazing.

Kim: Uuuh ... it's no big. But thanks.

Monique: I'm Monique. Just moved here.

Kim: Cool. Where do you go to school?

Monique: Middleton High.

Kim Me too!

Monique: I start Monday.

Kim You totally have to let me show you around.

Monique: Deal!

[They see what's happening...]


[... outside]

Ron: Woaaaahuh! ... Kim!


Kim: See you at school!


Kim [Running to save Ron] Excuse me! Pardon me!

Jackie Oaks: Honey, that was some performance! You ever think about a career in professional wrestling?

Kim: So not.

Jackie Oaks: Hehe, I tell you what. Here's two tickets to "Mayhem in Middleton". Enjoy yourself on Jackie.

Ron: These are backstage passes! You get to go backstage with backstage passes, where the backstage is.

Kim: And hang out with some guy named Steel Cage?

Ron: Uh, KP: Steel Toe is a guy, Steel Cage is, well, a cage.

Kim: You take 'em.

Ron: You can't just give them away. D'you know what these are worth? [Realizes] Okay, you can give 'em to me. Hey, let's go back to your house and watch wrestling so we get psych to watch wrestling!

Kim: Not tonight. I'm going to the Cleopatra's Closet exhibit at the Middleton Art Museum. It's a special preview for Club Banana frequent buyers.

Ron: You'd rather see some dead queen's clothes than watch Steel Toe's night of a hundred bruises with me?

Kim: My answer would have to be: Hello, ja. See-ya!

Ron: Cleopatra. Like anybody is gonna remember her ten years from now. Tuh!


[Later, at the museum]

Monique: Hey, Kim!

Kim: Monique! I should've known you'd be here.

Monique: Exclusive preview! The Queen's accessories! Girl, it is all good. I love your pants!

Kim: And you, very Cleo!

Museum guide: Good evening! If you'll follow me. It's my pleasure to welcome you to this special Club Banana preview of Cleopatra's Closet.


[In the next room]

Museum gard: [tied and gagged] hmpf

Museum guide: Oh, my goodness!

Kim: Call security and stay together! [To Kimmunicator] Wade, trouble at the Middleton Museum. Can you tap the security cam?

Wade: Tapping...

[Steps run away]

Kim: Huh! [A door is slammed, Kim dashes after them]


[On the roof]

Kim: Hm. [blinded by some golden light coming from behind a cooling unit] Huh!

[A person surrounded by golden glow runs away, Kim follows]

Kim: You are so busted.

[but the glower escapes]


[in a wrestling ring]

Pain King: Grrr

Steel Toe Grrr

[The ring is actually on TV, Ron, Rufus, and the Tweebs watch from the Sofa]

Ron: Whohoo! Toe's of Steel!

Tim: Ooh, Pain King's down.

Jim: Duh! Pain Kin never beats Steel Toe.

Kim: Ron, you won't believe what happened tonight.

Ron, Jim, Tim: Shhh!

Steel Toe: [from the TV in the background] Come on, little man, let's see what you've got!

Pain King: [also from the TV] You're going down!

[Kimmunicator rings]

Kim: What's the sitch, Wade?

Ron, Jim, Tim: Shhh!

Kim: Sorry. Wade, go ahead.

Wade: The only thing stolen from the museum was a small talisman. It was a gift to Cleopatra from a high priest of Anubis, the jackal-headed Egyptian deity of mummification.

Kim: A mummy? Gross! I bet she would have rather had nice earrings.

Wade: Don't be so sure! This talisman was supposedly enchanted.

Kim: Oh, come on? Who would believe that?

Wade: Maybe that glowing guy on the roof.

Kim: Good point. What's it supposed to do?

Wade: Super-human strength.

Kim: Uh, great. Well, at least it's not immortality - I guess. Thanks, Wade.

TV announcer: Chaos in Chicago will be right back. [Commercial break]

Ron: So, how were the Queen's old clothes?

Kim: I barely got to see them. Right after I hooked up with Monique, the museum was robbed by some glowing-headed animal guy.

Ron: Oh, that's nice.

Rufus: [Falling off Ron's shoulder] Whaa!

Ron: Wait a minute, who's Monique?

Kim New friend, really great. Anyway, the thief stole an enchanted ancient talisman.

Ron: Whoa, whoa, back up! How can I not know about a new friend?

Kim: I met her at Club Banana, then again at the museum before I chased the glowing robber.

Ron: So what's she like?

Kim: The robber?

Ron: The friend, Kim, the "new friend".

Kim: Ron, focus. There's a glowing guy running around Middleton with some kind of supernatural powers.

Ron: Okay, okay. Why don't we hit Bueno Nacho and you fill me in?

Rufus: Hmm!

Kim: No, thanks. Monique and I stopped for smoothies on the way home.

Rufus: [gasps]


[At Bueno Nacho]

Ron: Smoothies! Since when does Kim drink smoothies?

Rufus: Hmm, smoothies... [dives into Nachos, munches]

Ron: Seein' a pattern here, Rufus: Kim does her thing, I do my thing, and pretty soon - we're doing different things.

Rufus: [munches] Oh, ooh.

Ron: Maybe I'm just blowing this whole Monique thing out of proportion. I bet tomorrow everything's back to normal.

Rufus: M-hm, m-hm.


[Next morning. Ron rings at the Possible house, Mrs Dr Possible opens]

Ron: Good morning, Mrs Dr Possible, is Kim ready for school?

Rufus: Hi!

Mrs Dr Possible: You missed her, Ron. I think she said something about meeting Monique.

Ron: Monique?

Rufus: [shrieks]

Mrs Dr Possible: Oh, and I'll be late for my cranial bypass. Say hi to your folks!

Rufus: [sighs]


[School cafeteria]

Kim: ... and then once I was saving this desert prince from some stupid death squad and the back of my skirt was totally caught in my underwear - the whole time!

Monique: No way!

Kim: I could have died. And he almost did.

Ron: Hello, ladies!

Kim Ron! What are you doing here?

Ron: Can I dine with my best friend and her new friend?

Kim: Uuh, Ron, Monique, and vice versa.

Ron: Bearclaw?

Monique: No, thanks, ha-ha, I'm vegetarian.

Ron: Uhm, I'm pretty sure it's imitation bear.

Kim: She's joking, Ron.

Ron: Good one, hahaha, ha, good one. So, did Kim tell you that I'm her sidekick? Cause that role is definitely taken by me.

Monique: Riiiight. Well, in... you know I better get to class. Later, Kim. Um, n-nice meeting you, Ron.

Ron: Likewise, I'm sure!

Kim: What is your problem? You're acting really weird.

Ron: Well, let's see. You went to the museum with Monique, not me. Monique was with you this morning, not me. Hmm, pattern?

Kim: Yeah. You. Weird.

Ron: No, we're drifting apart because you're excluding me.

Kim: I am not excluding you. It's just that you and Monique are... different.

Ron: Oh, now you're gonna tell me that sometimes growing up means growing apart. I've heard it before, Kim. Billy Bullwicky, second grade.

Kim: You are so blowing this out of proportion.

Ron: Okay, maybe I am. Ooh, don't forget: Mayhem in Middleton tonight!

Kim: Those tickets are for you. I kind of already made plans with, uh, Monique.

Ron: I blame the smoothies. Here, Jackie gave these to you.

Kim: And I gave them to you.

Ron: And I'm giving them back to you... except this one, but only because it will be the highlight of my life.

Kim: Ron... [sighs]


[In the evening, Middleton Arena, locker room]

Pain King: So, you're taking a vacation this year?

Steel Toe: Ha, yeah, we wanna head right to a cottage in Martha's Vinyard. You know, it'll be nice get some chance to relax for wife and kids.

Pain King: Sounds charming.

[knocking at the door]

Pain King: I hate your guts!

Steel Toe: I'm taking you down, slime!

[Jackie Oaks enters]

Pain King: Oh, hi, Jackie.

Steel Toe: Phew! Man, hoo, I thought you were a reporter or something.

Jackie Oaks: Ha-ha, no, no. Ey, listen, eh. What do you guys think about me getting into the ring with yoos tonight, eh?

Pain King and Steel Toe: [laugh]

Pain King: Come on, Jackie, be reasonable!

Steel Toe: Yeah, I don't mean to sell you short... Oh!

Jackie Oaks: How very funny. Ve-very funny, yeah.

Steel Too: S-sorry, man, I didn't mean it like that.

Jackie Oaks: Beh!

Pain King: Stick to promoting, Jack, hehehe. That's what you're good at.


[on the corridor]

Jackie Oaks: [With the talisman in his hand] This is all gonna change... to-night. Hehehehehehe, hehehehehehe.


[The audience gathers at the wrestling ring]

Guy#1 and guy#2: [Find seats in first row and high-five] Yeah!

Ron: Hey! Nice seats.

Guy#1: Yeaheah, definitely.

Ron: But not as nice as mine: backstage, baby!


[backstage entrance]

Guard: [grunts]

Ron: Huuh!

Guard: [grunts and open curtain]

Ron Gotta see my man Steel Toe.


Man being interviewed: Oh no really, golf is a contact sport if you think about it. It could be something really fabulous...

Ron: It's Steel Toe and Pain King so close I could touch them! Or not, cause I'm cool. Yo, Steel Toe, whassup, Pain? I touched Steel Toe!

Rufus: Who-hoa! Me too.

Steel Toe: Your gerbil's totally bald, man.

Ron: Yeah, thank you. Can I have an autograph? Could you make it, um, "To Ron"?

Pain King: Uuh, sure. Let me get a pen. Yo, Jackie?

Steel Toe: Yeah, where is that guy? I need my sunglasses. Pronto.

Ron: I'll get them. Can I, please, please? Please?

Steel Toe: Sure, kid. They're in my dressing room.

Ron: [gasp-shrieks]


Jackie Oaks: Let me see if I got everything now, ach, righty? Open toe sandals - check, yeah. Ooh, talisman, mmh, glowing - that is nice, huh? Mhm, alright. And... my ancient papyrus which I shall now begin to read from. Eh. [Reads] Anubis, Protector of the Tomb, Your time is Now, The time of DOOM! [Diabolical laughter and he turns into the Jackal]

Rufus: [Shrieks and hides in Ron's pocket]

Ron: You know what? I'll just come back later.

The Jackal [growls]


Ron: Whaaah... Uh!

Rufus Yiiek? [Switches from pocket to under a napkin, trembles]

Ron: You wanna be left alone? I'm down with that.

The Jackal: Tonight the world will see the fearful power of the Jackal!

Ron: I've seen! I believe!

The Jackal: [grunts as he throws Ron]

Ron: Waaaaah! [Hits into Steel Toe]

Audience: [Boos and cheers]

Pain King: What are you doing?

Ron: Huh, there's a problem. Him.


[In a cafe]

Monique: Not enough froth in your latte?

Kim: No, uh, I'm just feeling guilty. I kind of blew off Ron to be here tonight.

Monique: Why didn't you bring him along?

Kim: Unless someone put a waiter in a headlock, this is definitely not Ron's scene. Besides, he had a date with "Steel Toe".

Monique: He scored tickets to Mayhem in Middleton? The GWA rocks!

Kim: What?

Monique: Pretty tacky, I know, but my brother hooked me up. Pain King's my boy!

Kim: I can't believe you and Ron have something in common.

[Kimmunicator beeps]

Kim: What up, Wade?

Wade: More on the talisman: If the holder recites an incantation from an ancient text, the spirit of Anubis could actually possess him.

Kim: Sounds bad. So we better find that ancient text.

Wade: Too late. Somebody already found it. Some masked guy stole it from the University in Chicago.

Kim: Do you have access to the police report?

[Wade makes the report - marked "confidential" - appear on the Kimmunicator]

Kim: Hm, the thief was super-short. And the GWA was in Chicago before Middleton. I'm sorry, Monique, I keep running out on you.


[at the wrestling]

Jackal: Arharrr!

Pain King: Who is this guy?

Steel Toe: Man, beats me...

Ron: It's Jackie. He's got supernatural powers!

Pain King: Jackie Oaks?

Jackal: You all've said I was too small and get in the ring. Hu-he-ha-har! Here I am. You still think I'm too small? [grabs and lifts the two wrestlers]

[Audience cheers]

Guy #1: This jock is awesome.

Ron: You made your point, Jackie. Put them down!

Jackal: I am no longer Jackie. I am now the Jackal!

Ron: Ough!

Guy #1: Whohoa!

Kim: Excuse me, pardon me, hehe, 'xcuse me, uhm, just gonna... squeeze through here...nggh, out of my way!

Ron: First I lose my best friend, now professional wrestling. Everything is ruined.

Kim: You didn't lose your best friend.

Ron: KP?

Kim: And don't worry, we're gonna save this... this... Would you call it a sport?

Ron: The most excellent one ever.

Kim: Let's take him down.

Ron: I'd tag-team with you any day, KP.

Kim: This will be easy.

[The Jackal growls and throws the wrestlers into the ropes, they bounce back against each other]

Pain King, Steel Toe: Ugh!

Guy #1: (squit he)???

Jackal: I'll take on all challengers, no holes barred. Right match, right here, right now. Come on!

[Audience boos, The Jackal destroy a "We love Pain King" and a "Steel Toe" banner, then creates a whirlwind]

Guy #1: Awesome rocking effects, bro!

Kim: Prepare to be body-slammered, Jackal!

Ron: That's "body-slammed". Better let me do it. Hngnggg, uh, eeeeh

Kim: Ron!

Ron: Heeuh. You go.

Kim: Why don't you try without the talisman?

Jackal: Who wanna go try and make me? I am all powerful!

Kim: Ouch! No, duh!

Ron: Kim!

Kim: You distract him. I'll go for the talisman.

Ron: Distraction, solid. Steel Toe's number one! Jackal who? Jackal who? Steel Toe's number one! That's right, you heard me, ol' demon

Jackal: [growls]

Kim: Oheh, Gaah!

Jackal: From now on, the world will bow down to me!

Kim: As long as he has this talisman on, this guy can't be stopped.

[Jackal jumps out of the ring, the audience flee]

Kim: Ron, you keep the Jackal busy.

Ron: I did that already, and I have the rope-burns to show for it.

Kim: It doesn't have to be for long. Get them to help!

Pain King, Steel Toe: Oh, Oooh.

Ron: You gotta keep the Jackal busy!

Pain King: No way, man. This guy's scary.

Steel Too: There's no way. I don't wanna best this guy. His eyes are glowing!

Ron: Gentlemen, you're not just entertainers, you're not just gifted athletes, you're heroes!

Pain King, Steel Toe: Let's get it on!

[Jackal growls, victims scream]

Pain King: Let's see what you've got!

Ron: Raahaa... Hi! ...

Ron: One chance, buddy!

Rufus: Uh, uh, uh-huh. Ngyangyangyang ... Ngyanguh!

Kim: Got you, Rufus!

Jackal: Change(???), no, Nooooo! [He turns back into Jackie Oaks]

Pain King, Steel Toe: Grrrr

Jackie Oaks: Hehe. I say, be reasonable.

Pain King: Jackie, you're going down!

Jackie Oaks: Hoooahh

[audience cheers]

Guy #1: Dude, that's the most best awesome, most totally rippin' show I've ever seen.

Guy #2: Eh, no way, man. That ol' Jackal thing was totally fake.


[At Bueno Nacho]

Monique: You know, I still can't believe you met Pain King and Steel Toe.

Ron: I can't believe you're into wrestling.

Kim: I can't believe I know either one of you.

Monique: Enough talk! In the immortal words of Pain King: You're going down!

Ron: Au contraire, it is you who'll be going down.

Monique: First one to drip is a loser.

Ron: Better get your bib, baby.

Monique: So wrong.

Kim: Hrrm

Rufus: Wohoa.. Go!

Kim: I think this is the beginning of a very weird friendship.

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