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Tick-Tick-Tick/Transcript

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Kim: Excuse me! In a hurry! Sorry!

Boy: Agh!

Kim: Come on! Come on! Print for Kim! Good! Good! What is this?!

Ron:  I downloaded cheat codes for steel-toe cyberslam! Today Ron Stoppable defeats the boss of level six!

Kim: Ron, I have 30 seconds to print my history paper! Printer rattles.

Ron: Uh-oh! Paper jam.

Kim: Term-paper jam, Ron!

Ron: Nothing a naked-mole-rat service call can't fix. Rufus! Emergency!

Rufus: Ahh! ( Splutters )

Kim: Ron!

Ron: Rufus can program a VCR, Kim. I think he can handle this.

Rufus: Yeah! ( Squeaks ) ( Clattering ) Aaagh!

Ron: Oh, Kim of little faith.

Kim: No, way! The hairless freak did it?

Rufus: Agh!

Kim: This is fantastic! It's all here. The paper, footnotes, bibliography, Rufus… Rufus?! I cannot be late!

% Bell rings.

Kim: Oof!

Barkin: Going somewhere, Miss Possible?

Kim: Mr. Barkin. I-I-I'm, er…

Barkin: A tardy. Third time this month, yes?

Kim: Maybe. I'm not sure.

Barkin: I am. Looks like I'll be seeing you after school.

Kim: At cheerleading practice?

Barkin: At detention, Possible!

Kim: Detention?!


[Title Sequence plays]


% Twang!

Kim's Dad: Jim, Tim, no airborne vegetables at the table. Use the launch pad in the yard.

Kim's Mom: Kimmy, you haven't eaten a nibble. Something wrong?

Kim: ( Sighs ) Mom, you're a brain surgeon, Dad's a rocket scientist. What am I? Detention girl!

Kim's Mom: Detention?!

Kim's Dad: A Possible has never had detention. Except your brothers, but they're little monkeys.

% Whoosh!

Kim's Mom: Do you wanna tell us what happened, Kimmy?

Kim: I was a little late to class. It was no big… unless you're Mr. Three Strikes Barkin!

Kim's Dad: Sounds like your Mr. Barkin is tough but fair.

Kim: Dad, I'm a cheerleader. We don't do detention!

Kim's Mom: Really? Who does do detention?

Kim: I don't know. Other kids. Ones who break the rules.

Kim's Dad: Like you did.

Kim: Do I have the right to remain silent?

% Bleeping.

Kim's Mom: The hospital!

Kim's Dad: The lab!

Kim: It's the Kimmunicator. What up, Wade?

Wade: Kim, Got a hit on your website from the Amazon.

Kim: The Amazon?!

Wade: I set you up with Gustavo for a ride.

Kim: Gustavo? From the flood. Oh, I remember him.

Wade: Pack your insect repellent.

Kim's Mom: South America?!

Kim's Dad: On a school night?!

[Kim Puppy Dog Pouts]

Kim's Mom: OK. But finish your peas first.

Kim: You're tough but fair.


% South-American panpipes music.

Kim: Thanks for the lift, Gustavo.

Gustavo: After you rescued my village from the flood last year, Kim Possible, I only wish could do more.

Kim: No big! It was just like swim practice.

Ron: Except the Middleton high pool doesn't have piranhas.

% Bleeping.

Wade: OK, Kim. I can stream you the tape from the security camera now.

Kim: Please and thank you.

Wade: This is the lab of Professor Acari.

Kim: Freeze, Wade!

Kim: Who is she? She's good.

Ron: ( Slurps )

Kim: Is that necessary?!

Ron: Oh, yeah. Every drop counts when you're 1000 miles away from free refills.

---------------------

Ron: Wait up, Kim! ( Groans ) Agh!

Rufus: Oof!

Ron: What's that sound?! Bugs or birds. Something's on my leg. Something is on my leg!!

Rufus: Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! Oof!

Ron: Rufus!

Rufus: Huh? ( Shrieks )

Rufus: ( Groans )

Kim: We're here. Professor Acari's lab.

Acari: Kim Possible, thank goodness!

Ron: I'd get someone out to spray your yard. Got a real insect… problem. A little help?

Acari: Oh, don't be frightened, Legs… Kim Possible has come to help us.

Kim: What exactly was stolen, Professor?

Acari: That's why I called you. I don't know. The gang's all here.

Ron: Ah-hm. Ah-hm. Apropos screen-saver. Wh-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Kim: Screen-saver. No screen-saver. What's on your computer?

Acari: Oh, well, it's a very experimental… ( Gasps ) My project! No! They took my tick!

Ron: Aaaaagh!  Bad summer-camp memories.


% Bugle sounds.

Young Ron: Aaaaagh!


Ron: Camp Wannaweep. My scalp was a 24-hour bloodsucker buffet.

Rufus: Urgh!

Acari: This tick was not alive.

Ron: Don't play me, Prof!

Acari: On the disc was a digital blueprint for a cyber-genetic tick would be virtually identical to the real thing.

Kim: So you designed a robot tick?

Acari: Precisely.

Ron: Question. Why?

Acari: I have a lot of time on my hands.

Kim: Who would need a robot tick?


Shego: Aaagh! Oof! Ever considered a normal door?

Drakken: Did you get it?

Shego: I got it! Don't know why you'd want it but I got it.

Drakken: My plan will reveal itself in due course, Shego. ( Chants ) Who wants to build a robot tick. I do! I do!

Shego: Er… Doctor Drakken, you know you said that out loud, don't you?

Drakken: Blast!


% Bleeping.

Kim: Go, Wade. I don't have much time.

Wade: Oh, Cheerleading practice?

Kim: Detention.

Wade: Cheerleaders don't get detention.

Kim: Can we just get back to the case?!

Wade: OK. Look. I took that freeze-frame from the security camera. Her name is Shego. She is wanted in 11 countries.

Ron: Make that 12. Grrr.

Rufus: Grrr.

Kim: So not your type. Urgh!

Barkin: Possible! Snap to! It's 1500 hours! Ron: She has to do 1500 hours?! Let the time fit the crime, Mr. B!

Barkin: You want a piece of this, Stoppable?!

Ron: Pass. Remember, Kim, chocolate's as good as cash in there. And don't look anyone in the eyes.

------------------------

Barkin: Possible, meet Vinnie and Big Mike.

Vinnie: 'S'up, cheerleader!

Big Mike: Hey.

Junior: Is this the assembly?

Barkin: Detention, Junior! Sit down!

Junior: Whoa! What's a cheerleader doing in detention?!

Kim: Waiting for it to be over.


Barkin: Stupid clock's busted again!

Kim: Oh, I'm doomed!

Kim: What?!

Junior: Never been this close to a cheerleader. Your skin is so smooth and zit-free… like a baby's bottom.

Kim: Eww!

Big Mike: ( Growls )

Kim: Oops, sorry, Big Mike.

Barkin: Quiet, people! This is detention not a pep rally!

Rufus: ( Squeaking )

Barkin: What's that?! Vermin… mole… creepy.

Junior: Urgh! That ain't right.

Big Mike: Aaaaaaagh!

Barkin: Want some of this?! Hyah! Come on, freak! Let's dance! Hyah!

Ron: KP!

Barkin: Hyah!

Kim: What could it be, Mr. Barkin?

Barkin: Probably busted out of the science lab. Genetic mutation. When will they stop?! When!?

Kim: Maybe we better get out of here.

Barkin: Alright. Evacuate mutant-infested location.

Kim: Yes!

Barkin: Go! Go! Go!


Kim: Thank you, Ron! Much needed bail-out.

Ron: Credit where credit is due.

Rufus: Hee-hee-he Whoo! WHO! WHO!

Kim: You don't know what it's like there. It's the meeting of lifetime losers' club.

Ron: Yeah. Hey, I've been in detention!

Kim: Oh.

% Bleeping.

Kim: Wade, got anything on our mystery thief?

Wade: I scanned air-traffic records in the area. There was this small jet.

Kim: Destination?

Wade: Just a little private island in the.

Kim: Sooo villains'-lair country.

Wade: And local legend says… the island is haunted.

Rufus: Oh, haunted! ( Splos ) Uh-oh!

Kim: Haunted island? "Keep out, meddling kids"? Please!

Wade: Oh, I almost forgot. Check your backpack.

Ron: New toys?! Gravy!

Kim: It's my backpack!

Ron: I need to familiarizing myself with the equipment. Like this high-tech… lipstick?

Wade: Actually that's not ordinary lipstick.

Ron: Is it fruit-flavored?

% Splat!

Ron: Agh!

Wade: Elastic-constricting agent.

Rufus: ( Giggles )

Kim: My compact! I've been looking for it!

Ron: What does that do?!

Kim: It's small a mirror, that arouse me to check my face. Come on, Ron. Let's jet!


% Siren wails.

Shego: Intruder alert!

Drakken: Can't hear you! Shego… Intruder alert too loud!


% Thud!

Rufus: ( Mumbles )

Ron: Aaaaaaaaagh!


Drakken: I have heard of you. The world famous teen hero, Kim Possible.

Shego: And her… chum.

Ron: Did she have to say "chum"?

Drakken: And surely you know of my work.

Kim: Sorry.

Drakken: Think for a minute. It'll come to you. I'm a genius.

Kim: I really don't know…

Drakken: Doctor… Doctor D… Doctor Dra… Drak… Doctor Drakken! Drakken!

Kim: Doctor Drakken.

Drakken: Ah-ha! ( Cackles ) I see my reputation precedes me!

Kim: You have something that doesn't belong to you, Doctor… er… What was it again?

Ron: Doctor, he said it was, D-duh, something.

Drakken: Enough chitchat! My pets are famished. Perhaps you two could stay…

Kim: For lunch?

Drakken: I wasn't going to say that.

Ron: Oh dude, you were so for lunch!

Drakken: Argh, yes! Then, stay for lunch!

Kim+Ron: Aaaaagh!

Drakken: ( Cackles )

Ron: Why not otters?! I wouldn't mind dropping into a tank of otters! They're fun.

Ron+Rufus: Waaaaaaaah!

Rufus: Agh! Oof!

% Plop!

Ron: Rufus!

Rufus: Aaagh!


Drakken: ( Hums ) I'll wager that you are wondering how I can use a robot tick in my evil scheme, aren't you, Shego?

Shego: I'm sorry, what?

Drakken: When I join the robot tick to a nano-explosive of my own brilliant design…

Shego: Nano? ( Laughs ) What's "nano"?

Drakken: Nano. Tiny. Mini.

Shego: Why didn't you just say "mini", then?

Drakken: Because nano sounds about 100 times better. That's why. Once the nano-tick attaches to a victim, he or she will be at my mercy.

Shego: And they'll bow to your will or…?

Drakken: Kaboom! Yes. Imagine the possibilities. It is my time at last, for the kids used to tease me in gym! Little…! Agh!


Kim: OK, so we're definitely putting this guy in the mad- scientist category.

Ron: Mad angry or mad crazy?

Shego: What do you think?!

Drakken: Look at this! Why do I even bother with the sharks?!

Ron: Remote-controlled lasers. I'll handle this… I got nothing. Kim?

Drakken: ( Groans ) No! No, no, no!

Shego: Chain reaction! Aaaaargh!

Drakken: Argh!

Kim: Run! Move!

% Boom!

Ron: Aaaaaaaaagh!

% Splosh!

% Gasps.

% Boom!


Big Mike: ( Growls )

Kim: Oh, erm, er… Hi, there, Big Mike.

Big Mike: Cheerleader.

Ron: Yo, Big Mike!

Big Mike: ( Growls )

Ron: I just can't connect with Big Mike the way you do.

Kim: I do not connect with him, or any of those detention guys!

Ron: Sure, you're an only short-timer but you're one of them now.

Kim: So not!

Ron: So so!

Kim: I am not one of them! I am a cheerleader. They mean nothing to me, I mean nothing to them! See you after practice!

Ron: Kim, it's a good thing! Nobody messes with them! You got street cred! Man, gotta get me some of that.

% Bleeping.

Kim: Hey, Wade, what's the sitch?

Wade: I've got Professor Acari on line for you.

Kim: Oh, put him through.

Acari: Oh, thank you, Kim Possible.

Kim: You're welcome, Professor. I've got practice, so I better zoom. Later.

Kim: Ready? OK! Bring it on!

Bonnie: Erm, Kim…

Barkin: I know about the naked mole rat. Cute. Very cute. Junior, Vinnie and Big Mike are looking forward to seeing you again, Possible. That's detention! Right now!

Bonnie: Detention?! Kim, maybe no-one's informed you, but we don't get detention.


Drakken: ( Cries ) My one-and-only nano-tick… destroyed!

Shego: Grow up! Your nano-tick's OK.

Drakken: Don't kid a kidder, Shego.

Shego: I've got a lock on the signal but… this is the weird part, the nano-tick is at a high school.

Drakken: Oh! Kim Possible!


Kim: Junior, Vinnie, Big Mike… what are you staring at?!

Junior: Cheerleader, you got a zit.

Vinnie: Cheerleaders don't get zits!

Junior: Oh, well then, maybe it's a tiny explosive device.

Kim: ( Gasps ) Huh?! Darkken's nano-tick! Oh, great. Mr. Barkin, I gotta go!

Barkin: Not this time, Possible! No excuses, no exit!

Kim: Sorry, emergency!

Vinnie: Check it out! Cheerleader's got some moves.

Barkin: Nobody escapes my detention! Possible, you're going down!



Ron: I talked to Wade! He figures Drakken can track that exploding robot tick thing.

Kim: For once let Wade be wrong!

Drakken: ( Roaring ) I want my nano-tick!

Kim: ( Sighs ) Wade's never wrong.

Barkin: Possible!

Junior+Vinnie: Oh, busted!

Kim: This helps.

Ron: Don't worry, KP, we are out of here!

% Engine roars.

% Engine splutters.

Kim: I'm doomed.

Drakken: The nano-tick is my evil technology, and I want it back!

Shego: Hey, Doctor D, you gotta get a grip.

% Beeping.

Drakken: That beep, is it a good beep?!

Shego: The tracker's locked on your bug.

Drakken: Oooh, beep on, sweet machine, beep on…

Shego: Can you not be weird, please?

% Cackles.

Kim: Looks bad. He's got some ray-thingy.

Ron: What kind of ray-thingy?!

Drakken: Grav-atomic!

Rufus: ( Squeals )

Ron: Hang on! … Denied!

Drakken: Stupid grav-atomic ray!

Shego: OK, why don't you drive? I'll do the grav-atomic.

Drakken: It's my weapon, I invented it, so I get to wield it!

Shego: Wield away.


Barkin: The subject is northbound on scooter, being pursued by an aerial craft of unknown design and origin firing…

Junior: Who are you talking to?

Barkin: During a pursuit, never distract the driver!

Junior: Look out, dude! The flying guy's firing some kind of…

Barkin: Hang on!

Vinnie: Oh, man! That's grav-atomic!

Kim: Ron, U-turn.

Ron: Huh? Oh! Gotta save your boys!

Shego: Ooh, we got her boys!

Kim: ( Groans ) They're not my boys!

Drakken: Huh?

Drakken: Agh!

Kim: Aaaaagh! Oof! Yah!

% Clang!

Junior: Oh, yeah, gravinatromic.

Drakken+Shego: Aaaaaagh!

Shego: You! Yeah, you don't touch anything!

Kim: What makes you think we're safe in here?

Ron: I don't think we're safe anywhere, but chases make me hungry. Chimiritos?

Kim: No thanks. I'm trying to focus on the thing on my nose that's gonna blow me up!

Drakken: If you just tell me what to do, I could do it!

Shego: What did we agree on?

Drakken: I don't touch anything?

Shego: Yeah!

% Rumbling.

% Both scream.

Drakken: I could have done that.

Shego: But can you do this?! … Kim Possible has something that belongs to us!

Kim: Guess what? I don't want it!

Shego: It's on you? What, like stuck?

Kim: Hello! It's not a nose ring!

Drakken: Take her whole nose if you have to!

Shego: Works for me! … Yah! … Hyah!

Kim: Get Wade on the Kimmunicator! There's got to be a way to get this thing off!

Shego: Allow me!

Wade: Ron, how's Kim?

Shego: Aaargh!

Ron: Wade wants to know how are you doing, Kim!

Kim: Fair!

Ron: Fair.

Shego: Hyah!

Barkin: Hey!

Junior: See, this is why I never come here, dude.

% Barkin and Shego groan

Drakken: Shego has failed! But she never fails! No!

Machine: Detonation-sequence activated.

Drakken: Uh-oh!

% Beeps.

Kim: Oh, no!

Drakken: Aaagh! Get me out of here!

Vinnie: Cheerleader's nose's gonna blow!

Junior: That's weird.

Big Mike: ( Chuckles )

Wade: You can't disarm it that small. We gotta get the nano-tick to let go. Ooh, there must be some way to blow the circuits.

Ron: This calls for the most dangerous chemical known to modern man. Diablo Sauce, stat!

Rufus: Huh? Yikes!

Shego: Drop the hot sauce and step away from the nose! … Aaagh!

Kim: Er… wow.

Big Mike: Nobody messes with us… right, Kim?

Kim: Er… yeah, r-right, Big Mike.

Ron: Make nice later. Right now let's flick this tick.

Ron: Easy… Easy… That's right, you squeal all you want. I gotcha. Almost… there.

Drakken: E-e-er, how do you…?! Waaah!

% Crash!

% Muffled screaming.

% Slurps.

Ron: The tick… is in the straw. The tick is in the straw! The tick is in the straw! What do I do?! What do I do?!

Drakken: Aaaaaaagh! … Aaargh!

% Boom!

Drakken: You think you're all that! But you're not!

% Sirens wail.

Ron: Situation…

Kim: …Resolved.

Barkin: Not quite. Steve Barkin is…

Kim: …Tough but fair. I know.


Barkin: Detention is supposed to be a punishment! A time of quiet suffering!

Ron: You didn't count on the Kim-factor.

Big Mike: I like sparkles.

Junior: I'm next, dude!

Vinnie: Hey, man, I'm next!

Barkin: ( Sighs )

Kim: Guys, what do we do?

Both: Take turns.

Kim: Right!

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